Thriving - the Authentic Tea podcast with Arpita

Yoga has always been part of Arpita's daily life. Growing up in India Arpita was living yoga from morning until bed without defining it as yoga. Arpita believes that yoga is a lifestyle and can teach us how to live our lives and to get to know ourselves better. In March 2020 Arpita felt a need to serve the community and to provide support to healthcare professionals working on the frontline. Arpita has a Facebook Group Thriving, not Surviving Healthcare Professionals where is able to support people to find peace and calm while they are serving the community. Arpita's mission is to create a thriving healthcare professionals community around the world.

Episode 11 of the Authentic Tea podcast featured Rach's chat with Arpita:

Rach (00:00):

Today, I'm super excited to be sharing this episode with Arpita. Arpita is a Yogi, a life coach and creator of Neom coaching. And Arpita has got a growing online community for thriving healthcare professionals, by sharing her own story. She has developed a safe place for others to share and acknowledge their own ability to thrive. Arpita is offering yoga and self-integration programs for healthcare professionals to take ownership of health, wellness, and joy in amongst many other wonderful offerings. So welcome.

Arpita (00:35):

Thank you. I'm really excited to be here because I feel like it is amazing what, what work you're doing is really amazing. So I'm really excited to share like how healthcare professionals can be thriving while serving others. Yeah. Thank you.

Rach (00:51):

You and I met through your Facebook group, which is called Thriving, Not Surviving Healthcare Professionals. So maybe you can just tell us a little bit about how that group started and what the purpose of the community that you've been building there is.

Arpita (01:06):

So I think that story starts in last, like pandemic, like when pandemic really started, I think in Australia, like I'm based in Australia. So here started really started building up from March, 2020. And at that time, like globally, I was feeling really that like from my heart, I was feeling the need to help this community, this world, not just a particular community, this world. And it was at that point that it was bringing tears to my eyes when I was talking through it. So it was like really like that immense need for me to serve the community somehow. And then I was like, what I can do that can help, like that can make the biggest impact. And that's where the like thought popped into my mind. How about I create the community for healthcare professionals who are working really, really hard during this pandemic.

Arpita (02:06):

Like they're like all the healthcare professionals are putting their own life at risk, their own life, their family life at risk for the community. Right? So what if I can do something for them to make their life a little easier by providing that support to them. And that's where this group started. So initially I started with like just yoga for healthcare professionals. And I do believe that yoga is the way of life, but then I realized that as a health care professionals, they are always living in, in that bubble that, Oh, our life is about surviving. You know that, Oh, this is struggle is a part of our life. And that's how we should be living. And I'm like, no, that's not true. I have seen, like, I have seen many healthcare professionals who have created that balance in their lives, I have helped many healthcare professionals to change that.

Arpita (03:03):

So I was like, no, that's not true. And that's where I changed the name of the group to thriving, not surviving healthcare professionals, because I do believe that healthcare professionals can be serving others at the same time, still feeling really great in their body. So the, my purpose is to create that thriving healthcare community around the world. Like it is like right now, it is very small community, but I know if I am, it is going to be a ripple effect. Like I help healthcare professionals and healthcare professionals are serving so many more, right? They are serving the community. So if they are feeling, they are really thriving in their life. If they are feeling resilient in the life, when they're serving others, they will be serving from that place of resilience. And that will bring the resilience in their patients, in their colleagues. And that will make that ripple effect like that radical change in this whole world. You know? So that is, I think that is my purpose. And when I'm saying that it always fires me up. I'm like, so fired up to talk about it you know.

Rach (04:16):

And it's wonderful because you can hear the passion of you talking about it. So it's a wonderful feeling and you say it's small, but I think you have nearly 1200, 1600. This is a good size,

Arpita (04:33):

But it is just starting, I feel like they are just now slowly. They can really realize like what I'm trying to say, because, so my first student from my group, she was like she, she's my like one-on-one student as well right now, and she was like, you have chosen the hardest profession to help like they healthcare professionals don't want to be helped. And now she is seeing the change and says like, no, you are doing the amazing work. And I'm so happy that you are doing this. That slowly, everyone is starting to see that. And I'm, I'm happy to give my, all my, all my, all of me to make this change, because I know if healthcare professionals are thriving, whole world will be better, please, you know? Yeah.

Rach (05:28):

So wonderful to hear you say that and from such a place of passion and love. It's just, it's amazing. So I know that within your group, you also have a set of kind of core values that you try to share about thriving healthcare professionals. Maybe you can explain why you felt it was important to develop something around values and maybe give us a flavor of what's contained in them.

Arpita (05:53):

Well, what I have noticed in our group is like talking to all these healthcare professionals. One thing I have found common is like all the healthcare professionals, they are, they are so absorbed in serving others, that they keep forgetting themselves. So they are always, always going out, like they will go out of their way to serve others. But when it comes to themselves, they don't do the same thing. So that's why I was like, this core values are really needed for them to, it is because the change can start from here. So if the mindset is changed, then everything else will change. So these core values are really designed to help them to change their thinking, that know what you have to serve yourself. And if you don't serve yourself, you can serve others as well. You know, we can't serve from an empty cup. Yeah,

Rach (06:52):

I totally agree. I really love that. The empty cup is a, is a super analogy. It's definitely so important. I think also what you really encourage in the group is people sharing stories and sharing their own experience of their work and their feelings of overwhelm and burnout. And you also have shared your own story. So maybe you could give us a little clip into that and how you realized when you were at that point that you were close to burnout and how you managed to overcome that point in your life.

Arpita (07:27):

I think my, my story started, like I don't come from the big world of healthcare profession, so I was not in the field. It was through pandemic that I felt the need to work with them. But my burnout came from like, when I was going through the personal, like, you know, personal hard time, like there was some personal issues going on and I was new mother. So I was trying to, you know, I was trying to be there for my daughter. I was like on outside. I was always happy. I was always like, no one would think. And I started doing like bodybuilding. So I was really body building. So in physical shape I was looking perfect. So no one would see that inside I'm dying. It was like that. And that's that like, it was I was like mentally and emotionally, always exhausted because I was hiding behind working like all the time on working or I'm always there to care for my daughter or doing that in the gym for my bodybuilding.

Arpita (08:32):

So doing everything, I was one thing I was avoiding is having rest that rejuvenating my own body, my own self like that inner self. And that's why, like the best part was that I caught myself earlier that I didn't go so much into it that I realized that this mental and emotional exhaustion all the time, it's not right, that this is what the burnout look like. So I really caught myself earlier and I believe that if we identify the burnout earlier, we can cure it so much quickly. And if we take, after a few years, we realized if we are doing that, obviously we can still come back out of it, but it will take a lot longer. So I think once I identified, I, the second thing I had to do is I had to take step back really finding that space for myself, because I think I, I just intentionally hide behind the work.

Arpita (09:35):

And I think that happens with everyone. I have seen that many times when everything is going wrong in your relationship, maybe, or you have your kids or you have, maybe you are looking for a promotion at work. When we looking for all this stuff, that's when we start, you know, start that burnout period. So there are so many things we can which can help us to identify, but first we need to identify the second one is we have to create a space. Maybe sometimes that means we have to delegate stuff. Sometimes it means we have to maybe just outsource something completely, but we have to start making space for ourselves. The third thing, which really worked for me is finding the right mentor, like right mentor or coach, like you need to, because as a human being, we are designed to look after yourself that there is no doubt in that, but when you're going through some hard time, it is very important that we have someone who can guide us through.

Arpita (10:38):

Because if we have someone as a guide, we can come out of it very quickly, trial and error doesn't work. I think what works is like, if somebody is there, who knows what is going on, who is there to guide us. And that's why when I chose what I do that is because I know like having mentor really what mentor or coach really works. Like I regularly still work with my mentor every time. She is always like, I have mentor as well as coach now, because I know how important it is. And the fourth thing I believe is keeping an eye out that identifying that, you know, always keeping that. I think that building that self awareness, that as soon as the signs start, again, you start seeing the sign, you take action. So you don't go in a deep, deep, well of all this overwhelm and you're losing yourself again,

Rach (11:36):

Your message around self-regulation and self-awareness is so important to be for all of us, to be able to understand our own signs and sort of measure our own self of where we are with things. So are there ways that you now do that in your daily life? When you feel that you can, you can identify that maybe things are becoming a little bit more overwhelming or things are adding up. Are there techniques that you use to make sure that you are regulating and that you're stepping back again?

Arpita (12:10):

I think there are a few things here. We can start seeing it. Like I'm going to include some of the signs with sources that we are starting to see the burnout in ourselves. I think first will be easiest to notice as you're becoming sort of tempered, you are, you know, straight away bursting into something. Like if someone asks you, you get annoyed easily. I think that is the really great sign. You start ignoring yourself like your self care. Like you will be like at the end of the day, you are just so exhausted that you can't do anything else. Even if you want to move your body, you wouldn't, then you're feeling emotionally numb that you are not feeling your emotion. So I think if we are just looking at the emotions, sometimes it happens that your emotions are all over the place or you are not being yourself.

Arpita (13:06):

And in both the case at the end, the sign is that you are starting to burn out. So that is the biggest sign. And I think because I have seen so many times, and I will say like everything, all other signs from starts from this. So what I teach, I run like 11 days retreat for my healthcare professionals. And we start with awareness. The whole retreat is like, it is all about how you can, like, because they struggle with time. I focus on how to free up time, but we start with the awareness it starts with there. And then from there slowly, slowly, slowly, slowly, we are building up the resilience physically, mentally, emotionally, but the heart of it is we are building that self-awareness once we start doing that, everything else starts changing. Yeah.

Rach (14:05):

Thank you. It's it's wonderful to hear and your course sounds fabulous. So we'll definitely add some of the links so people can have a better look at it and see what you're offering in that. So you also mentioned about mentoring and how that's been something that you continue to do in your life. Was there a point where you realized that you needed to identify someone to help you, or did that person appear in your life? It would be lovely to know, and with that, how would you suggest to other people or advise other people to find mentors? If they feel they need guidance from someone else. So they need that person there who can be in a totally different viewpoint. How can people find that? How can people seek that out? I think

Arpita (14:52):

The first thing, so I was lucky because I think when you are, when you put your intention out, universe is listening that whatever you believe in it might be God, Jesus, Angel, Angel or whatever you believe in that is always listening. So when you put your intention out, that person appears in my life, in our life. For me, my, my mentor appeared during my teacher's training. Like my yoga teacher's training she, has been my mentor, like during the training. And then, then it is so important that we connect with their values. So we still be like what they do in their life. We still be able to connect with that. So if you're seeing someone, because there are so many coaches, so many mentors in this world, but you need to find a person with who, with values whose values are matching with your values. So you can connect with them because if you're not able to trust that person, even if they are giving you the goal, you wouldn't be able to take it.

Arpita (16:04):

So you have to find someone who can with whom you can really connect through their values, what they're offering. You can see that as soon as you hear their message, you feel that no, like it sort of feels like the person is talking to, just to you directly to you, even if it is the public post, which is read by thousands of people when you're reading it, you sort of feel that, no, this is the person. Yeah, no. She is talking to me or he's talking to me. And when you feel that you will know that, yeah. This is the person who is going to help you

Rach (16:40):

For you. What does it look like with your mentorship now? So just to give people a bit of an idea, do you regularly check in with each other? Do you just have an informal relationship? What does it look like when you need to reach out to that person?

Arpita (16:54):

I would say it is formal and informal informal. So I checked with her. Like, I can message her anytime when I need her. But at the same time there is that respect that like she is my teacher my, like in yoga, you must be hearing the word Guru. All right. She, is my guru that I can connect to her like I have so much respect at the same time. So I think it is a mixture of Eastern and Western world because in Eastern world, like guru is like, you put them here, up high, a high up, you know, and in Western world it is like you have informal relation, little bit informal relation with your teacher, right? So for me, with my mentor, she she is westerner, and our relationship is mixture of both. So I held that respect as a teacher. I really like, you know, I worship her in away because she is my teacher at the same time I can talk to her easily that I don't feel that I'm talking to someone above than me, that I can share to her, anything, you know,

Rach (18:07):

Oh, that's really special. And I think if we could wish anything for everyone, it would be that everybody finds someone like that in their life. Because I also have experiences of where I've identified people who have been able to give that level of support. And it's, it's incredibly facilitating. It's really, I think it's a powerful thing. If people out there haven't identified those people is to start thinking about how you can do, because it's something that is really valuable and certainly valuable to both of us. So let's talk a little bit about yoga because this is actually how we ended up connecting with our yoga paths. I know that we've both mentioned around how yoga is part of our life and how we'd like to live yoga and have it as part of a lifestyle. It would be wonderful if you could just share a little bit about your yoga journey and how you found that's developed over time.

Arpita (19:05):

So I am Indian. I am born in India and raised in India. So I think being part of the Indian culture, I was living yoga as part of my lifestyle. And like in India, you will see obviously that is happening in the Western world as well. I see it a lot because I'm living in Australia from last ten years. And I have seen a lot, but, but being in India, like we don't call it yoga even , but it is part of our life. So like throughout my life I have lived. And that's why maybe I have seen that, that resilience in me, like it is like, you know, unwavering resilience in me that it is always, there doesn't matter what happens in my life. I can stay strong in my, my, my own self. So I think it was always been part of my life. But then when I did my teacher training that's when like whatever I was doing throughout my life, it added meaning to it, why I do what I do everyday.

Arpita (20:13):

Like, we'd start our day. Always our day starts like portable Puja. So Puja Is like a spiritual thing. Like you take it with you where we have all God in it. And we do the like in-depth Puja. We do like a few types of meditation, different types of meditation. We do some type of asanas we do re-do mantras, we do pranayamas. It is combination of all that. But when I did the teachers training, yoga teachers training that's when it was like, it made sense why I do all of that. You know, everyday why we start our day with that, why we do what we do during the day, like why we touch our elders, elders, feet, everything. It was so clear. So like for me having that yoga background as a culture, and then doing the teacher training, it really connected me so much more with my own own relationship with yoga, my own relationship with my Indian culture, it really helped me.

Arpita (21:20):

And I realized that because for what happened when I started doing like, obviously it was part of my life, but then when I started going more deeper into, I started with poses. So like, I, I I'm sure there are many yogis in the world right now that who are started with. I am sure. So many people just think that asana is yoga right over. Like poses is yoga. I started doing yoga asanas from Instagram. And I was so deep into doing all that fancy poses and challenge doing the challenges and these and that and that. And then I was like, I knew that yoga is not just that it is lot more than that. And that's where my wish for doing the teachers training came. I was like, I want to go a lot deeper than just asana

Arpita (22:13):

And I'm so lucky to find that teachers training in here in Australia, because I wanted to do it in India where I felt obviously I'm Indian. So I had that connection, but I ended up doing it here. And my teachers, teachers are all from India. So when I did teachers training here, I was like, they have so much knowledge like being Indian and having you know, that Westerners teaching me about my culture. It had a different effect on me. I'm like, I was so proud seriously. I was so proud that they might like, because my teachers, teachers that all Indian, like they are coming from they're the like innovator of new yoga right now. So like, you know, learning from them. I was like, they are doing an amazing job. And I'm glad I learned here. I will do one day. Like I will go one day to India and do the training again in India.

Arpita (23:12):

But I'm so glad I found that 500 hours training where we really went deeper into it and it was all about yoga philosophy, not just us asanas. And that's what, like, when I'm teaching my students, even I don't use so many of the phrases we use in yoga. I am teaching them how to live life, through yoga. Like whatever I have learned, it is all through yoga and I'm, I'm giving them all of that, like, I, I give them life coaching, but in that life coaching, I'm teaching them the way of living yoga in their life.

Rach (23:52):

Beautiful. It's really beautiful. That kind of leads on to what you feel with your yoga. So, and, and what you feel with your life, is there a way that you could identify when you are truly yourself, like your authentic self, is there a place or maybe something you do when you feel like this is me, this is me. And I'm showing up.

Arpita (24:19):

I have been always the person who always speaks my heart. Like I never hold back and that I have been like, maybe it is my upbringing. I always speak my heart. But one thing I have seen changing is like, I always react, but the way I react right now is so much different than the way I was reacting before. Now especially like, if I'm talking to like someone who I'm close to and that person says something and it ignites me, like before I react in my mind, it plays up. Like how I would have reacted before, like that getting angry and responding with that annoyance. Like it takes a split second to register. And then I and then I realized how I respond right now. And it is so much calmer. It is like so much calmer, clear communication that it makes sense to that person. So, you know, it puts so much more importance in that person's eyes. When I'm speaking from the place of calm, that peace of place of peace instead of bursting into anger.

Rach (25:37):

And I think that also for me, that also talks to like your conscious and your subconscious mind. And with so much of our actions are subconscious that when we start to actually activate our conscious mind and by doing so many parts of different aspects of yoga, we can activate that conscious mind, that we just approach situations in a different mindset and a different way that you are able to reflect on it. You're able to see your own, your own self acting, which is, is an amazing observation.

Arpita (26:13):

I would add one more thing in that, like, so in yoga as well, I think the first Yama, which is Ahimsa that, you know, the literal meaning of it is nonviolence, but Ahimsa is what, like, it is kindness. It is care. It is love. It is, you know, how you're showing up as a person. And if we start living that one thing, everything else in life doesn't matter, we are at everything in life will change. Like if we are looking through the lens of kindness, that is where everything changes. So like when I'm teaching, like to anyone, not just my healthcare professionals to anyone when I'm teaching anything, I think even like, I was running kids, yoga classes, and like, I have taught them Ahimsa and that is what I teach them, like serving, like caring for yourself, caring for others and caring for environment. And when we start doing this, everything else changes, you know, we don't have to look at anything else. We have to really live Ahimsa. Because if you look at yoga there is Ahimsa, and Satya and obviously truth is important, but it also depends on Ahimsa. So everything is based on at the end Ahimsa. So if you're living with that, like, you know, non-violence that kindness, everything else changes and whole world can change just through that one lens

Rach (27:47):

That it's music to my ears. Honestly, it's just a, it's so nice to talk about this. It's so nice. So with the, with the nonviolence to ourselves and with self-compassion, and self-love, I know a lot of the work you do is also around shifting mindsets, really allowing people to move from the negative self-talk to more positive thinking. And maybe you could just share maybe your approach to that. You've also, you've mentioned, you know, thinking before you engage with conversations, but are there moments where you use small techniques, other tips that you could offer people to be able to start shifting some of those mindsets?

Arpita (28:34):

So I think one of the favorite method I give to my students is reflection through journaling. Because when you, sometimes many times it happens that when you're trying to process in your mind, it might not register straight away because it takes practice. But when we start doing journaling, because it gives you that space, that time to process, and it can come out on paper everything, it really helps you to change it completely. So when we start doing journaling, when we start doing stuff through journaling, and that once we do the journaling, the second step comes is like, you're like, so first you do journaling. You write whatever comes in your mind. The second one is you read that again and rewrite it. And the part that is communication, that communication might be to yourself. It might be with others, but it is all about really processing it very well.

Arpita (29:40):

And when we are talking about shifting mindset, I think to shift mindset, that's where my core values come. I didn't talk about what are the core values I will share the three core values. The first one is I am the leader of my life and I have the power of choice. So when we are thinking that I can't, I don't have time for my selfcare, or I can't do commit to this. I can't do that. And that it is in our hand, what we choose. Sometimes it might feel that it is not, there are, maybe you have some type of illness like you haven't chosen, but somewhere you are making that choice. The second one is small and consistent actions make big transformations. You, if you're doing like, I will give you an example. If you are training like, or the weekend doing five hours of training, and then other five days, you're not doing anything, how does it, it is going to work.

Arpita (30:49):

Do you think it will work? No. Right. That the one day you are doing, you are going to feel exhausted because you're overdoing it. And the other part is you're not going to feel good because you're not doing anything. But instead of doing that, if you're just doing, you know, five minutes every day to have to build that five minutes every day will make tremendous change in your life. If you look at after one year. So that consistent actions are very, very, very important. And the third one is I respect my commitment to myself. I'm always like, you know, be like, think about, if you have committed to your friend about something you wouldn't go. And like, if you had a date with your friend dinner date, you wouldn't go and cancel on that suddenly at the last moment, right? The same way. If we start committing to ourselves, we will be feeling so much good in ourselves. Like we will be always thriving in our life. Doesn't matter how hard our life can get. We know how to come back to our thriving place. And by doing that, we will be able to solve others so much better. So these are the three core values. So if we can do that, if we put that in our mind, like, then it will be like so much easier to look after yourself. And from there, you will be able to look after others very well as well.

Arpita (32:23):

So you mentioned that in the, that third value around respecting yourself and committing to yourself. And I think that that's something that a lot of people struggle with, particularly when they're really short on time. So it's often the thing that you leave, you leave onto the end of the list. You don't feel that you are able to invest in yourself. So it's something that you, you leave off and you, you neglect. And like you say, you wouldn't do that. If you had written it down for a friend. Are there ways that you identified when you need it to continue investing in yourself? And I think the yoga teacher training is, is a prime example of that, where we've both gone through a yoga teacher training and wanted to invest in our own learning, in our own path. What would you advise people in terms of trying to feel good about investing in themselves and how do you continue for yourself to identify when you need to invest time and energy in your own self?

Arpita (33:24):

For me, I will start, start with myself and then let's talk about others for me like once I experienced that burnout I'm like I was convinced that I don't want to go there back. So I think that was like, I'm very strong willed person as well. So like the three values come from me being the strong person in myself. And I realized that if I am feeling really great in my body, like if I'm thriving in my life, I'm able to serve others better. And that's why I was like, no, and I have tried not doing the session in between. And I have seen that if I'm not looking after myself, I can't be that a hundred percent for my students, for my family, for this world. So that's why I was like, what are the better we can be spending your money and your time then really investing in yourself.

Arpita (34:21):

So that's why I decided that that doesn't matter what happens in my life. I'm going to make sure that I look after myself. I keep investing in myself. So I think experiencing that once and then realizing that if I'm investing in myself, what difference it makes, that's what made me to commit to myself. So that was the first step. And for others, I want to tell them the same thing. First, think about if you're not doing how long you can keep going, like how, how long you would be able to show up for your family, how long you're going to be able to show up for your patients for this whole world, without looking after yourself, if you're feeling always overwhelmed, if you're feeling always anxious, exhausted, stressed, if you're feeling drained on your energy all the time, how long will you be able to serve?

Arpita (35:20):

Right? So if you want to serve for longer time, I think the best way we can do is first invest in ourselves. Like if that investment might be time, it might be money. It might be, you know asking for help, but by doing that, you're making sure that throughout your life, you can show up the best as your best self for your family, for your friends, for your patients for whole world. You know, and if we are doing that, then we are able to serve from the better place that the people who are getting that care from us, they will feel it. And they will be able to do the same

Rach (36:03):

Amazing stuff, amazing stuff. And I think what would be wonderful is where can people find out more? So if people want to find out more about what you're sharing, where can they find you and all these wonderful things that you're doing.

Arpita (36:16):

So right now, the only place I have, like I had my website, but I haven't maintained it and stuff. So the only place people can find me on Facebook or Instagram. So maybe I will give you my link for my Facebook so it is facebook.com/apyoga, but I will send you the link. And then there is a group for health care professionals. So I'm slowly opening that group for healthcare professionals and caregivers, because I'm seeing that there is similarity in what they really need and the other places, Instagram. So it is instagram.com/neomcoaching, but I will give you the links and people can contact me. Like they can DM from there and we can see if we can work together or I can be any help for them.

Rach (37:05):

Yeah, thank you. And we will, we'll put all the links underneath the podcast episodes so that people can have a look and see what you're offering. And I would really recommend people join the group because it's a really active group that's lots going on in there. And it's amazing to see the community that you're growing. So I think that's, and I really recommend it. So, so wonderful to talk to you. I could keep talking to you for ages. Last question. And obviously my podcast is called Authentic Tea. The question is where and with, who would you choose to have your most authentic cup of tea?

Arpita (37:42):

So the first thing is I don't drink tea or I don't drink coffee. So I'm not a coffee or tea person. That's the only thing like I'm maybe sometime drink, but it is like, I don't prefer to have any of it, but I love green juices. So that's my cup of tea. And I will share it with, I think with anyone who is happy to have heart to heart connection, like who is ready to be authentic, I will be happy to help like authentic tea, right. That's what I believe in. I believe in authentic connections, like authentic communication. So as long as the person is talking to me authentically, I will be happy to help connect with them.

Rach (38:28):

Fantastic. Thank you. Thank you so much for being a guest today. It's been an absolute pleasure to, connect with you and I hope everyone's enjoyed listening and huge thank you. Thank you

Arpita (38:42):

So much for having me because I love that you are providing this space for healthcare professionals like you or for others as well, like who can really learn the way of life through yoga. So it is wonderful what you're doing, and I'm so glad that we can connect here and we can share more about how we can thrive in our life. So thank you very much for having me.

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